deep creek vacation

We just returned from a week vacation in Deep Creek, Maryland. We rented a big lake house for our entire family and we all spent six days fishing, swimming, boating, eating, playing and laughing. We had such a nice trip. We took Finn on the kayak, on a pontoon boat, hiking in Swallow Falls, driving through the hills of Maryland, swimming in the cool lake water, sleeping in the king size bed and having a blast with his grammy and papa and uncles and aunt. It's always a little sad to come home from vacation. Takes a couple days to get back into the routine of things, but it is also pretty nice to come back to our lovely little home. Finn was clapping when we opened the door.

dear james

Dear James.

It's storming and Finn is napping in the back room. I carried him inside with his carseat and he has been snoozing away. You know how he wakes up though- all of a sudden and so loud. He has such willpower. He knows what he wants.

I'm thinking about the very first time you took me up to our favorite cabin in New York. It was winter and we had snowshoes and we walked the trails and ended up at that deserted cabin by the river and we went inside. I said it felt like it was haunted but you assured me that we were fine. You warmed up my hands and we ate the homemade chili that you brought in a thermos for us.

We walked back to our cabin and we listened to Neil Young and made dinner. I talked about New York and you looked me in the eyes and told me I was smart for leaving when I did. We had only known each other for a month and I felt like I had known you for a year.

We walked in those snowshoes all weekend. You bent down every time and put them on for me. You buckled every button and tightened them just right. Never complaining or acting annoyed. Every time you bent down to fix the buckles and make sure they were adjusted just so, I stared at the top of your head and felt myself fall a little bit more in love with you.

he is one

happy birthday, finnegan scott

And just like that, my baby boy is one.  He took his first steps the week before his birthday.

I keep thinking back to when I was in labor. I keep thinking about James holding my hand with both of his. I keep thinking about that little window in the hospital that I kept looking out of when I could feel the next contraction coming. I keep thinking about my brothers and parents waiting in that little room, my dad with his head in his hands and pacing back and forth- he was so nervous. I keep thinking about the first moment I saw Finn. All slippery and smooth, his eyes wide open. I held him to my chest and examined every part of him. I knew him. I loved him. Moments after, when Finn was nursing, I looked out that little window and a butterfly was tapping on the glass.

Happy first birthday you magical little boy. You have made me a better person. You have made our family happier. You make your dad and me laugh every single day. You are so loved. We are so lucky.

Finn's first trip to the lake

Fourth of July weekend we packed up or little van and took our baby to Gigi's lake house for a couple days.

We watched fireworks, felt sand on our feet, splashed in the little waves of Lake Erie and ate funnel cakes and ice cream.

Here is a little film of our time at the lake.

normal day

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” ― Mary Jean Irion

funny finn

Finnegan is almost eleven months old. I keep scratching my head wondering how could eleven months have passed already since the birth of our baby boy? How can this little baby who isn't so new anymore almost be turning into a one year old.

I go into his room to get him in the morning and he looks taller standing in his crib. After I am done nursing him in the evening and I go to place him in his crib, he feels heavier lying in my arms. He is becoming determined to walk, holding on to the couch, to my hands, to the little plastic lawn mower I found at a garage sale for a dollar. 

He is so aware of what we say to him now. He understands so much. We ask him to point out the moo, the ball, the dog, the blocks... when we are reading books and he scans the page with his little eyes and then once spotted, he points his little finger at the object. 

If we are having a conversation and I mention the word head, or teeth, or nose, I'll look over at Finn and he will be pointing to that body part. 

He makes us laugh. All the time. He knows what we think is funny and he'll keep doing it just to make us smile and he smiles too. 

The love I have for this boy is indescribable. He is so special. He is so funny.

first ride in the cozy coupe!

those little lips

hats!

playing in papa's office

loves that sweeper