I keep thinking back to when I was in labor. I keep thinking about James holding my hand with both of his. I keep thinking about that little window in the hospital that I kept looking out of when I could feel the next contraction coming. I keep thinking about my brothers and parents waiting in that little room, my dad with his head in his hands and pacing back and forth- he was so nervous. I keep thinking about the first moment I saw Finn. All slippery and smooth, his eyes wide open. I held him to my chest and examined every part of him. I knew him. I loved him. Moments after, when Finn was nursing, I looked out that little window and a butterfly was tapping on the glass.
Happy first birthday you magical little boy. You have made me a better person. You have made our family happier. You make your dad and me laugh every single day. You are so loved. We are so lucky.