Monday, September 29, 2014


Dear James,
remember towards the end of the night when finn woke up fussy and our reception was happening. we walked inside together and found him in the arms of a family member crying. i took him and he settled and then we put his hat on him and walked outside. we were out front away from everyone and no one knew where we were. we stood there watching, just the three of us.  i saw your grandma dancing. i saw my parents grinning. i saw our brothers and your dad and my uncles by the bar laughing loud. i saw our friends and aunts and uncles and cousins smiling and dancing. i saw the wildflowers we grew in our garden on the tables and my grandmother's vases and jars spread throughout the tent. i saw your sister and her husband singing along to a song. i saw your mom sitting with her mom smiling. it was like we were watching a movie that was made just for us. our closest friends and family celebrating love and friendship and devotion. and we got to watch for a moment from the outside. it was so special.

and i remember thinking to myself, this is over in twenty minutes but i get to go home with these two... and i looked over at you cradling our son against your chest, your hand behind his little two month old head, and i felt so lucky that all of this was mine. ours.

happy second anniversary, james. my best friend, love and favorite person.

"and i'm gonna love you till the wheels come off"  tom waits

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