lying with finn, inside his crib, has now become a mandatory part of his sleep routine. we snuggle together on the little mattress and i repeat myself telling him to be quiet and close his eyes until he falls asleep and i somehow climb out of the position i was forcing myself in and sneak out of his room, tip-toeing around the creaky floorboards that i have mentally marked.
and he does the same thing at bedtime now. he says loudly, "ok, i have to make my choice" meaning he has to decide if it is going to be me or his dad who is going to lay with him that night. he usually picks me, but some nights he picks his dad and i give them both a kiss goodnight because i know that james will without a doubt fall asleep in his crib and I'll have to sneak in and wake him up the try not to laugh loud while he pulls himself out of the tiniest bed he's mastered sleeping in. i don't know how he fits. but when i see them on the monitor, james wrapped around finn, the blanket over the top of them, finn's head pressing against j's cheek, it almost looks like that bed was made for the two of them to share. they actually look comfortable.
this afternoon inside the crib, finn turned over and looked at me, his eyes big and a darker shade of blue, and quietly asked, "mama, can we talk about stuff?" he then went on a ten minute ramble;
"where did this bed come from actually? who made this? it sure is hard... i don't want my snowman to melt... if a dog jumps on me, will you protect me? will dada protect me? will all my peoples protect me? what does protect mean? oh yes, yes, yes, yes, right. remember fishing?" and then he turned over, closed his eyes while hugging his little stuffed dog, boo, and fell asleep.