she fights back with her brother now with passion, yesterday in the car she yelled "i'm done talking to you, finn!" and then we pulled in the driveway they jumped out of the car and ran to the backyard playing together.
i don't want to forget what she says- how she says it. every day it seems she's less of a toddler and more a little girl. two years old- full of challenge, and emotion and change, and yet if i could, i'd pause time so i could keep her this little forever.
we've been having so much summer fun- boat rides, bike rides, playgrounds, swimming in the lake before the sunsets, the water warm and calm. daily trips to the pool, finn jumping in the water with confidence. diving under, taking his floaties off to jump off the dive. i sit by the side of the pool with caution and nervousness. each time he launches his skinny, tall body off the dive i hold my breath with him. he comes up and does his doggie paddle to the ladder and i exhale. he seeks more adventure now, climbing, jumping, always running. he'll be six in three days and i can't grasp it. i can't put into words the feelings. mostly excited and thankful, but also heartsick and panicky. he was just my two year old, nursing on my lap, sweaty in the summer heat, and now he'll be off to kindergarten come fall.
after a weekend at the lake with gigi. boat rides, fireworks, the tiny festival on the water, waking up in that little yellow bedroom with the sun shining through her white curtains, the lake outside the window, sylvie waving at the ducks, we pulled back into our driveway monday morning and sylvie said "thanks for everything, mom" and tears filled my eyes.
i need to remember. i just can't forget this happiness.
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